What is emotional intelligence?
It is that link between yourself and the others, between what you want and what the others want and need.
Why emotional intelligence?
We receive information about the world around us through our senses.
Everything that we smell, touch, hear, taste, or see travels through our body under the form of electric currents. Their final destination is the brain.
When you stub your toe in the door, the sensation creates signals that are transmitted to the brain before you get the feeling of discomfort.
The sensation enters the brains at the back.
In order for us to form a rational explanation of the event, the electric signals have to travel from the back to the front of the brain.
This time lap between the moment the signals enter the brain till the moment they reach the front of the brain becomes a problem. On the way, they have to pass through the limbic system. The limbic system is where our emotions take shape.
This means that whenever an event takes place, we first get an emotional response and only after a rational explanation of the event.
Our emotions are the ones to influence our behavior before reason does, which makes the study of emotional intelligence a necessity more than anything else.
IQ / EQ or both?
Our IQ, except when we have a tragic brain accident, is fixed from birth. No matter how hard we try, through information and learning, our level of intelligence remains the same. We are not capable of connecting the dots, irrespective of the amount of information we acquire, thus, it’s always fixed and cannot be changed.
Our emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is flexible. It’s an ability that we can easily develop over time to bring us great benefits.
More IQ or more EQ?
It doesn’t matter if you are the best at something if nobody is willing to work with you because of your personality.
Human beings are social animals that need to interact with other human beings. Therefore, it makes perfect sense to understand our emotions in order to practice self-control, which will lead to a better social conscience and human relationships.
Does it take more that IQ?
Simon Sinek talks about emotional intelligence in terms of performance versus trust. He asked the navy seals whom he worked with, how they picked the recruits, the ones that will be part of the best of the navy seals.
Being the best, but acting poorly towards your fellow human beings is not a desirable type of individual in any environment.
Emotional intelligence means
The personal competence part concentrates more on your individuality than on human interaction.
Self-awareness is the ability to precisely identify your emotions and be aware of your tendencies in a given situation. As Evy Poumpouras explains in “Becoming bullet proof”, identify your F3 – fight, flight or freeze
Self-control is basically what happens when you act or you don’t act. It is the capacity to use your knowledge about your emotions in order to remain flexible and act positively.
The social competence part is more concentrated on your ability to understand others and to manage your relationship with them.
Social conscience is your ability to observe other people get a sense of what they’re going through.
Concentrating on your own feelings makes you oblivious to the feelings of those around you.
Acknowledge other people’s feelings without necessarily agreeing with them.
The management of human relationships is the product of the first three abilities: self-awareness, self-control, and social conscience. You are aware of your feelings and those around you. The goal is clear communication and conflict control.
Takeaways from “Emotional intelligence”
“Emotional intelligence” is an invitation to introspection, a hint to a self-audit in order to become better and thrive in all areas of your life.
Only by identifying your weaknesses, you can start the process of improvement.
The end result: a more aware person, who understands emotions but uses judgment in the process; combining the two into a perfect mix that brings about fruitful human relationships.
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